The Rich Uncle
Joe: “Say, whatever happened to that nice woman you were dating?” Moe: “Things were going great until I told her about my rich uncle. Now she’s my aunt.” 🙂
Long Passwords
Ronda gave me this one: During a recent password audit, it was found that a student was using the following password: MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy When asked why such a big password, she said, “It had to be at least 8 characters long.” 🙂
Fifty people swindled!
A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, “Read all about it; Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!” I was curious, so I bought a paper, and said, “Hey kid, this is an old paper, where’s the story about the big swindle?” The newsboy ignored me and went on yelling, […]
Magician’s Kid
Teacher: What does your father do for a living? Student: He’s a magician. Teacher: What’s his best trick? Student: He cuts people in two. Teacher: Do you have any siblings? Student: Yes. I have one half-brother and two half-sisters! 🙂
A Wise Career Choice
“How long have you been working here?” one employee asked to another. “Ever since the boss threatened to fire me.” 🙂
Why was the glowworm unhappy?
Why was the glowworm unhappy? Because her children were not very bright! 🙂
Finished or Complete?
A bit of perspective for you: People say that there is no difference between ‘finished’ and ‘complete’. Consider this: Marry the right person, and you’re complete. Marry the wrong person, and you’re finished. 🙂
Tax Collectors
A man walks into a restaurant with his pet alligator under his arm. “Do you serve tax collectors?” he asks the barman. “Of course,” says the barman. “Well,” replies the man, “I’ll have a beer, and my alligator will have a tax collector.” 🙂
Driving Tips
1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago. 2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York. 3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: New Jersey. 4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston. 5. One hand […]
Nuclear Wedding
Two nuclear physicists got married recently. The ceremony was beautiful. She was absolutely radiant, and he was glowing too. Even the bridesmaids shone.
