Sheep Traffic
Did you hear about the shepherd who drove his flock through the middle of the village and got a traffic ticket for making a ewe turn?
Son-In-Law
His girlfriend’s father was interviewing Young Charles. “So,” said that impressive personage, “you want to be my son-in-law, do you? “Not particularly,” said Charles tactlessly, “but if I want to marry your daughter I haven’t much choice, have I?”
Advice for Joggers
If you run behind a car, you’ll be exhausted. If you run in front of a car, you’ll be tired.
Rustling
Did you hear about the cowboy who wore paper pants, a paper shirt, paper boots, and wore a paper hat? The Sheriff arrested him for rustling.
Homework Help
“Dad,” said Little Johnny, “I’m late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?” The father said irately, “Son, it just wouldn’t be right.” “That’s okay,” replied Little Johnny, “but you could at least give it a try, couldn’t you?”
A ghost walks into a bar . . .
A ghost walks into a bar at midnight, and asks the bartender for a Whisky. The bartender says ” Sorry we don’t serve spirits after 11″
Origami Factory
I used to own an origami factory. The company folded.
Rough Boys
A little girl asked her mother, “Can I go outside and play with the boys?” Her mother replied, “No, you can’t play with the boys, they’re too rough.” The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, “If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?”
Carrion
I was going through airport security a little while back and there was this vulture in front of me with two dead rabbits. The vulture puts the two dead rabbits on the xray machine and the guard says “Hey buddy, what’s this?” And the vulture says “That’s my carrion.” [carry on]
Nuclear Physicists Marry
Did I tell you about the two nuclear physicists who got married? The bride was radiant. And the groom was glowing.
