How to Reduce Anxiety in a World Gone Crazy
Last week, before everyone was told to go home and stay there, I met some friends for dinner. One longtime friend had just picked up her daughter from the airport: Her university had closed down for the foreseeable future and she didn’t know what was next. The Mom asked me if I had any sage […]
Payday
Joe: “Can you lend me $10 until payday?” Moe: “Sure. When’s payday?” Joe: “How should I know? You’re the one with the job!”
Red Light
I was in a hurry taking my daughter to school. I made a u-turn but realized I shouldn’t have. I said, “Oh no. I think I just made an illegal U-Turn.” My daughter said, “I’m sure it’s okay. The police car behind you just did the same thing!” 🙂
Watch Dog
I asked my neighbor why his dog keeps running in circles. He said, “He’s a watch dog. He’s winding himself up.” 🙂
You Don’t Know . . .
Cowhand: “It looks like you’re putting the saddle on backward.” Dude: “What makes you say that? You don’t even know which way I’m going!” 🙂
Lawn Distance
Two houses next door to each other fell in love with each other. It was a lawn distance relationship. 🙂
Piano on the Porch
Joe: Why is there a piano on the porch? Moe: He forgot his keys. 🙂
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they can spend years at C. 🙂
Dog Humor
What did the dog say when he sat on the sandpaper? “Ruff.” 🙂
To Ponder
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle? 🙂
