Sometimes you affect people without even realizing it. With luck, it’s usually a positive thing.
Recently, I ran into someone I interviewed about ten years ago on my podcast. Here’s my perception and his perception.
From my point of view, his company was acting appropriately, but got caught up in a news story to which they were a minor player. But in this era of “piling on,” they found themselves suddenly overwhelmed with news media, PR management, and other things they just didn’t see coming. It made very a tough six months or so, followed by a long period of healing.
I interviewed David because I wanted to tell the story of being prepared for the un-foreseeable. You never know when someone will suddenly put the spotlight on you and you have to respond. You suddenly lose control, and there’s pretty much nothing you can do about it. It is a good warning for business owners.
So . . . I ran into David at a conference and he thanked me. I asked what for. He said this my interview helped him to begin healing for one simple reason: I listened to him. I let him tell his story from his perspective. My reaction was basically, “Of course. That’s the point of the interview.”
He said, “Don’t say of course.” No one else had shut up long enough to let him tell the story from his perspective. Everyone came to him with a pre-determined headline and just wanted to get him to say something that supported their viewpoint. I asked a quested and listened to the answer.
I had literally forgotten about that interview for ten years. And I never knew that he felt so strongly about being heard.
It’s amazing, with humans, how much some people can heal from just being heard. And the funny part is, listening is one of the easiest things in the world. Many of us (myself included) tend to interrupt people and talk over them more than we should. But when you can manage to just listen, is does a great deal of good.
This is also true with spouses, children, parents, friends, neighbors, and pretty much everyone else in your life.
Much of the public “debate” today isn’t debate at all. It’s a lot of people trying to get someone to listen to them but getting no validation that they’re being heard. And the natural response to answer the argument does nothing to relieve tension; it just increases tension.
I’m sure somewhere in your life you’ve listened to someone and it made a difference, whether you knew it or not. I want you to know that chances are good that it did make a difference.
Sometimes we hurt each other without intending it. And sometimes we help each other without realizing it. When in doubt, just be nice!
🙂
